For some inexplicable reason, people who know me (and apparently know no other knitters) think I should sell my FOs.

The problem with this is that if I’m selling something, it becomes an obligation (even if I’m not making it to certain specifications). And laboring under an obligation just pisses me off. Here’s an example:

I recently wasted a bunch of time making a baby blanket for a baby who I don’t know even remotely. I suppose that sounds kind of cold, but I didn’t even know the parents. I mean, I don’t dislike babies, but if I’m going to spend a significant chunk of time on them, I’d prefer to have some sort of personal connection. Even at a baby shower, you’re not really there because you care about the baby. You don’t even know the baby! You’re happy for Mom (and/or Dad or whatever familial configuration we’re dealing with here) and you like cake.

But suppose someone just came up to you and said, “Hey, there’s this woman who’s pregnant. It’d be really nice and a good idea if you were to get her something for the baby.” You’d probably be like, “uh, why?” And if they asked you to make something for the baby? With your own free time and two hands?

Now imagine this: that the baby in question is a dying baby.

This is the second time in as many years that I’ve had the Dead Baby Card played on me. The only consolation is that this time, at least there actually was a baby. Without going into my whole I-trusted-a-pathological-liar Summer of 2010 saga, let’s just say it’s really hard to say no about anything when a pregnancy has ended or is ending. Even if you don’t know the woman, baby, or family from a hole in the ground.

Unfortunately, as in the case of aforementioned pathological liar, that’s what some people count on: that their words or needs are unassailable because otherwise you’re a callous monster who doesn’t even care about BABIES.

What it basically amounted to is that I never want to make a baby blanket again. Spending 18 hours nearly uninterrupted doing even something you love can really affect your love for whatever it is you’ve been doing for that fucking long.

It was just baby yarn I wasn’t going to use for anything else anyway. It was a very basic hdc tbl pattern. Unfortunately I made it much wider than long (or longer than wide? Who’s to say?) but didn’t really realize what direction it was headed until I’d already invested too damn much time in the thing to start over.

I’m having a similar problem with another project I’m working on. While it’s not something I’m being paid for, it was something that was strongly suggested I should make. And to be honest, at first I was excited about it. Now I never want to see hot pink yarn again in my life and I can’t wait to box this stupid pirate shit up and mail it to California’s asshole.

Perhaps compensation would soften the blow. Or perhaps it would stoke the resentment. At any rate, it would require me to be a lot more precise about my work. A slightly-parallelogram-shaped too-rectangular blanket is not something anyone would pay me for, but what with numb fingers and silent resentment, I’d sure as hell wind up paying for it.

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