This is going to be the first year where I can really go all-out on the holiday knitting.

For the past five years or so, I haven’t really bothered with Christmas gifts, unless I happened to find something super cheap that my mom or sister would love. And even then, there was only about a 50% chance I’d remember or get around to sending them. The idea of sending out cards was equally preposterous. Mostly it was because I was pretty broke, but partly it was the fact that in recent years, I’ve given less of a shit about Christmas in general.

I don’t know if it’s that I’ve gotten less religious over the years, or if the holiday itself has. It’s probably an amalgamation of both, and the annual “War on Christmas” media derp-fest doesn’t help matters. (“You must invoke the name of our lord when celebrating your festival of consumerism and overconsumption, or we’re going to stomp our feet and hold our breath!”)

But mostly it’s because I’m poor as shit. Additionally, I hate shopping anyway, so doing it at a time of year when everyone else and their mama is trying to get a deal on some shitty consumer electronic their kid’ll forget about within 2 months, is especially tortuous.

This year, I don’t need to do no shoppins. I have a stash and patterns out the wazoo. I have people I want to gift and ideas for things I want to give them. My Christmas knitting list is therefore titled Bitches Get Stitches.

Yes, I’m calling it a Christmas list even though I kind of hate Christmas. After all, it includes at least two sets of golf-club socks, and I hate the shit out of golf.

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